When All You Can Do is Give Up

Hey guys!!! I know it’s been a pretty long time since I’ve last blogged! There has been a TON of changes since I’ve lasted blogged! So, for starters my family and I moved back to Minnesota from Nebraska, into a what looked like a really nice apartment that had issues as soon as we moved in!!!!!!!! I originally had a great paying job with a school district but had to quit like two weeks in due to childcare issues…. which sucks since the cost of living is so high! Then I really started to struggle with the calling on my life! For the longest of time I just knew what I suppose to do in life. Then after a big life event a couple years ago, all that changed. With all of that change God gave me a vision that showed me that my experience is going to help others, although I may not see it right away. That was 3 years ago. I can honestly say now I can see it but now am very eager to start the vision. Since coming back I have had to deal with emotional things that are connected with why we left in the first place. That was difficult but I’ve manage to overcome it. I have this heart to want to only help people and sing! I love to do hair but I started wondering if I was compromising what God has for me over what I’m just good at doing and comfortable with doing.

I’ve have literally been battling with this idea for weeks but really believe what I know I should be doing. I find it fascinating that at times we have a strong like faith but even in that don’t really believe that His plans are the best option because if we did really believe that than why do we always want to compromise with what we know is true. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I am saying we have to be willing to admit that this is a problem and I sit her wondering why my life doesn’t seem so blessed anymore. I would come up with a million excuse on why I can’t make church. But at the end of the day I’m just making the decision on not allowing God to move in my life and to correct me. I have been so disconnected with Him because I felt like things was all His fault. I felt like well since He knows everything than its His fault why I’m so broken and crazy. I found it much easier to have forgiven everyone that played a part in my brokenness. Yet He always found a way to try to keep me close. I may not have been reading the word but I was always listening to worship music and writing songs of praise to Him during one of the most difficult times in my life. I may not be all together today but I’m working towards acting on the call of my life. I know what He wants me to do I just need to start taking steps and making it happen. I know everyone has a different journey with God and I know some who have turned complete away from Him. I had an experience with Him as a teenage girl bowling at the alter needing so badly to feel loved. I was desperate and I ran to Him even when I wasn’t sure if He was even real. I ran to Him and He heard me. He heard my brokenness. He heard my cry. He heard my confessions. He heard my confusion and He held me so tightly. He showed Himself to me because I allowed myself to open up. I have experienced the presence of God. I sat in the presence of God. I know what I encountered was real. No one convinced me to do anything. I ran to Him because I needed to know Him. I ran to Him 3 years ago because I got lost in myself and forgot who had control. I’m running back now because with knowing who He is and what He has done for me…… I can’t run away. I’m His baby girl who He has a great vision for. One that I know is exactly what I need.

With all this being said.  The last couple of years was out of control for me and my family because we were trying to control what shouldn’t be controlled by us. I don’t’ know where you are in your walk with God and honestly that’s not the important part of what I’m trying to get across. I want you to go back to the time when you really experienced Him. Go back to a place where the worship wasn’t the thing that moved you. Go back to the places where the word that was shared didn’t move you. Go back to your first encounter with God and hold on to that because when life seems to be the one thing you are trying to control you have to remind yourself of the first encounter with Him and redirect your vision for your life to His vision for your life. Remember that opposition is normal on this walk and Satan will do anything to detour and kill the vision that God has for your life.  Control the uncontrolled with the through the Creator not through yourself.  Give Him the authority again in your life and watch it overflow with blessings and new found understanding. Remember who you are! I leave you with these scriptures. Love you guys!!!I'll talk to you soon!

Galatians 2:20 – "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.




Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

14 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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