Showing posts from 2017
anx·i·e·ty aNGˈzīədē/
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome….. I’ve pretty much had this issue my whole life! One that I can honestly say I’m not of ashamed of. I use to go back and forth between the whole concept of, “if you believe hard enough He(God) will fix the problem” and “well if you say you have anxiety or depression than your speaking it into existence”. Here’s the thing though…… no one can really move forward or overcome a obstacle like this if they’re not allowed to be human and actually feel and really try to work through with what they struggle with and why. I do believe that God can heal but He doesn’t always. I don’t believe that He wants to just fix everything for us so that we can live this happy fairy tale fantasy for the rest of our lives. Depression seems to have a strong hold in my family. I’m not ashamed to say that I go through seasons of it. I’m also pretty sure anxiety runs pretty he…

When All You Can Do is Give Up

Hey guys!!! I know it’s been a pretty long time since I’ve last blogged! There has been a TON of changes since I’ve lasted blogged! So, for starters my family and I moved back to Minnesota from Nebraska, into a what looked like a really nice apartment that had issues as soon as we moved in!!!!!!!! I originally had a great paying job with a school district but had to quit like two weeks in due to childcare issues…. which sucks since the cost of living is so high! Then I really started to struggle with the calling on my life! For the longest of time I just knew what I suppose to do in life. Then after a big life event a couple years ago, all that changed. With all of that change God gave me a vision that showed me that my experience is going to help others, although I may not see it right away. That was 3 years ago. I can honestly say now I can see it but now am very eager to start the vision. Since coming back I have had to deal with emotional things that are connected with why we left…

Get it Gurl!!!!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo sorry about neglecting you all for the past month!!!! I have had a lot of frustrating things happen to me in the past month! Sometimes when you think you can trust people and work as a team with people, you realize that even those people that seemed trustworthy can fail you. Everyone that knows me knows my heart is so passionate about youth, but sometimes everyone on your team isn't and that can make establishing a healthy relationship very hard. Once again I have learned that you can't trust everyone but this time I walk away without anger but with grace, pride and gratefulness. I have learned the kind of parent I want to be in my own kids lives and I have learned so much from the kids that God had given us temporarily. I have learned that my husband and I can overcome anything together and I have learned how to cook for more than 12 people and cheaply!!! I have learned to show grace through difficult times and have continu…


Tamir Rice age 12, Micheal Brown age 18, Treyvon Martin age 17 and now Jordan Davis age 15. All young black boys killed by the very authority that is suppose to be protecting our children. As a mother, as a youth worker, as an auntie and a HUMAN  BEING I have so much anger, sadness, confusion inside of my heart.  This blog post isn't about bashing  anyone what so ever, but if you are offended by anything I say in than you aren't really ready to listen and nor are you ready to help and that's okay. I just hope it helps you see a different view point is all.

One day I was making errand to Popeye's with my son and daughter in the back seat. When I was turning I did not use my left blinker and I also did not notice a cop behind. Now honestly I thought the cop was just going to ignore because the city I'm from, the cops won't even waste their time trying to pull me over, but it happened out in the little suburb I live in! Now the first thing I did when I was pullin…

Feeling weary

Lately I have been feeling weary. Before you know it, the weariness turns and to resentment, bitterness and eventually hate. I have spent my whole life pouring out love into others and really trying to help them see the potential that they have and show through my actions that love does still exist. Sometimes a person can be exposed to so much pain and hate that they don’t even recognize what real love looks like because of people using it so wrong. Any how I have gotten to the state of feeling weary and discontinuing my work in youth care. I feel as though God is preparing me for something so much bigger than what I am currently doing. I have been working with teenagers since I was a teen myself and has enjoyed even the ugliest moments of it. Now I feel it is time to move on to something different. I’m at a different place in my life. I feel like working with people will always be my thing. God has given different gifts and a new vision, one that I plan on following. I may be very we…

Not my hair!!! Hair up date!

Hey guys!! Sorry for such a prolong wait on a new post! I have been very tired lately due to work!!! Any who this post is an update on my alopecia areata! So, I decided to cut the back of my hair on Feb. 14, 2017, in hopes that my hair would grow back the way I wanted to and guess what………… it did as you can see in the pictures below!!!!So, for all you woman that have alopecia areata  there is hope but remember your hair will still go through different period of balding. You just have to make sure your taking care of yourself through healthy eating, exercise and plenty of water. You want to keep your stress levels down as much as possible as well. When you’re not taking care of yourself your hair will more than likely come out more than usual.

Also find out what your porosity level is with your hair, it plays a huge part in why you may be struggling with hair growth in general. When I went natural in 2003, it was not a trend, so for the most part I was just basic things like washing my…


So, I was up last night reading an article on kids and screen time. They article said screen time mentally has some of the same effects as cocaine users. I thought, man that’s crazy but I could totally see what they are getting at. Like when I take my son iPad from him rather it’s because it’s bedtime or because I prefer him to work on his writing skills, he always seems to have a complete melt down over it.Than he always asks when he can get like there isn’t anything else for him to do and when he doesn’t get it he cries about it, which only makes him lose it for days. I have noticed the difference in his attitude when he has gone a whole month without it vs. a whole month of having it. His behavior is a lot better when he doesn’t have and it’s the same for the tv to. My husband has seen him completely zone out like he is staring at his iPad except there is nothing in his hands. It’s scary to think that maybe this device actually plays a part in his behavior. We went a long time with…

Finding yourself again

Have you ever got so wrapped up in life that you no longer know what it is you loved doing with your life before becoming career oriented, before having kids, and before getting married?Do you remember the last time you did something for yourself that was literally for yourself?I don’t. As a matter of fact, I have never really done something for just me. I spent my whole life serving others but in things that doing like dancing, singing, braiding hair, and planning events for my friends! All things I loved doing but yet now I am struggling with trying to do something for myself and I honestly don’t know where to start.Somebody asked me the question, “what do you like to do?” and I told them all the things that I liked to do but then she re asked me and said, “what do you like to do for yourself?” and I just stood there like, “myself?” I have gone all these years serving others and never really served myself. So now I have decided that I’m going to look for some things to try out! If I…


The other night I was watching Black- ish, a tv show on ABC, in the episode the younger daughter gets a baby doll, something like an American girl doll. When Rainbow (the mom) went, and took the doll back to exchange it for a black doll they only had two black dolls, one was a free slave and the other a civils right marcher. Now out for the whole story they had about 100 white dolls with different careers but only two black ones. Now Rainbow was tripping on the whole doll thing because she wanted something for her daughter to relate to. She wanted a doll that her daughter could inspire to be like to a degree. A black doll that represented black doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. Than at the end of the episode she realized that her daughter didn’t need a doll to realize that she is beautiful and is fully capable of being whatever she put her mind to. I myself have always struggled with the whole white doll lack doll thing. I’m not even that old and didn’t really grow up with black baby d…

Scheduling is LIFE!

Being a stay at home mom/ work from home mom is a very difficult job! I live with my work. My husband and I are care takers of up to eight teens who needs to learn social skills. All of the teens come with different issues, which means my kids may learn bad behaviors when a youth doesn’t want to corporate and also learn good behaviors when the youth are showing good social behaviors. Now with my kids being as young as they are, my daughter 3 and son 5, it doesn’t take long for them to think they can behave in a negative way and with all that’s going on with trying to teach others teens new behaviors, my kids eventually lose all of their routine schedule. When we stayed back in MN my husband and I worked full time jobs, which meant our kids were in childcare 8am-5pm every day except for the weekends, in which they were always with me because my husband was working a second job. Now with this new job the transition has been really hard because I was accustomed to my kids being with me f…


Have you ever experience people telling you things like, “ your so good at that” or “ That’s a gift.? I have heard it many of times. My husband reminds me often that I am talented or gifted but for whatever reason I just don’t see it. I don’t know if it was because I wasn’t exposed to a lot of other things that could help build my confidence or if it came out of being picked on all the time… but I just don’t believe in myself the way others do and the way God does. I’ve always wanted to accomplish whatever I put my mind to but I never feel satisfied with what I do. I’m told I’m a great braider but when I look at my work it’s always it could be better. The one thing I struggle with the most is my music. I’m always so proud of something I wrote and sung but as soon as I hear a play back I right away have negative thoughts like, you don’t sound great or no one will listen, or it’s not better than such and such or things like why are you even trying, you suck type stuff. I don’t have very…

In Love

Being in love is hard work. Believe when I say , 7 years and two kids later, being in love is HARD WORK, but EXTREMELY REWARDING! You know that phase when you’re in a relationship and you’re doing everything in your power to stay looking fly and just showing them all the best sides of you? It’s very similar to the honeymoon phase of marriage. You see in the honeymoon phase it’s all you are my world, there is no one more perfect than this person … right… until you have to deal with real problems. Let’s be honest a lot of us haven’t really seen what healthy relationships should look like. We have this made-up idea based on movies, t.v. shows and ads. You see everything around us tells us that sex is love and that your outer appearance is the only thing that will keep the one you love around. The world around us tells us to quite on the relationship when things are going exactly how you want them and to never really get to close to a person because you will only get hurt.Being in love is…

Being a mom!

Team Jenkins enjoy the snow and sledding!
So being a mom has a lot of beautiful moments and also have a ton of hard ones! I feel like being a mom is supposed to challenge us in areas in which others can’t. For me personally I love youth! I love infants, elementary age kids and high school. Anyone that know me knows I can’t stand middle school youth and the toddler preschool age LOL. So obviously, those ages  can’t be skipped LOL. So, I had to learn how to teach to their “know it all” attitudes and not doing what I asked them the first time. We were all raised differently but I know for me telling my parents I’m not would get you pooped in your mouth LOL. With the way society is now popping your kid could get child protective service called on you, which I believe is sad because sometimes our kids need that good old fashion “whopping” aka spanking, just to clarify a whopping is not getting beaten a beaten is getting beaten, which I n…

Not my Hair!!!

I have an autoimmune disease called Alopecia areata that went into activity after my second child! When you have an autoimmune disease, your immune system attacks your own body. With alopecia areata, it’s the hair follicles that are attacked. This causes the hair to come out, often in clumps the size and shape of a quarter. The amount of hair loss is different in everyone. Some people lose it only in a few spots. Others lose a lot. I experienced losing hair with both pregnancies but with my first child all of my hair grew back. My daughter totally took over my body and it has never been the same since. I went to a doctor and was told that I have alopecia areata but first was told by my cosmetologist. So now my hair falls out and grows back. I’ve noticed for the most part it’s when I’m dealing with high levels of stress is when it’s at it’s worst. Now when my hair falls out it does it in different places and be bald, baby butt smooth bald! So of course, I start freaking out when it jus…